Hana & Athie's Strange Short Stories
by Athie Lestrade
Summary: Just random stories that we came up with on spur of the moment. They were funny so we decided to post them! Hope you enjoy reading them! WARNING: KaiShin, insanity and extreme weirdness inside.
1. Getting Them Together

Hana: We don't own Detective Conan or Magic Kaito!

Athie: Nope! But we do own our musings, yay!

Hana: This might be a little confusing since we're both talking in first person.

Athie: Good point... how about this: When I'm talking it'll look like this: **ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ**

Hana: When I talk, it'll look like this: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

Athie: Got it? Good, then let's go! ^^

* * *

**" Teach me sensei!" I yell, running up to Kaito.**

* * *

"Wait for me!" I shout.

* * *

**I tie Kaito up with some rope and drag him back towards you.**

**"I don't know how on earth he hasn't escaped yet..." I say, looking back at the tied up thief. Only to discover that he wasn't there. "Oh dammit!"**

**"What are you crazy fangirls trying to do to me now?" Kaito demanded.**

**"We just want you to teach us kleptomania.. oh great, KID-sama." I say looking decidedly innocent. I poke you in the gut and we start doing puppy dog eyes. Strangely enough, he agrees.**

* * *

"Yes! We got the great Kaito Kid to teach us kleptomania. Now, KID, just stand right there… back slowly into that enclosed glass cage. Don't worry, we'll let you free once we've done what we wish." I assure Kaito, smiling evilly. Suddenly I pulls Shinichi out of thin air. "Now, when shall we put them together? I brought popcorn and any other foods if you don't want popcorn!"

* * *

**"Oh of course. We'll let you leave soon." I say breezily, a smirk tugging at the corner of my lips. I push Shinichi into the glass box and padlock the door. Suddenly a scary idea hits me.**

**"Hana-chan... Did you put in air holes?" I ask. You stare at the box, mouth gaping. I run back to the box and unlock it, shoving them into a different glass box with air holes that just appeared.**

* * *

Then I take out a bottle of stuff that makes their emotions more potent, and sit back to watch the KaiShin.

"So...want some popcorn?" I ask Athie-chan again.

* * *

**"Nah, I brought cheezies." I say with a smile. I shove the snacks into a bowl and push it between us.**

**"That's stuff you put in with them. Is it aphrodisiac?" I ask Hana-chan, in a conversational tone.**

* * *

"Mmmm, yum." I grabbed a handful and put it in my mouth. I flinched at Athie-chan's remark.

"...Maayyybbeeeeeeeeeeeee." I answered shyly.

* * *

**"You don't know what aphrodisiac is, do you?" I ask, laughing. You shake your head.**

**"It's a drug that increases your lust. Basically it makes you want to have sex." I say and steal some popcorn from you. "I was planning to use it in a story... that's why I know about it."**

**I chuckle at the spectacle before us. Kaito and Shinichi were arguing while taking off their clothes. They are such weird people.**

* * *

I laughed manically, but had a sweatdrop.

"Umm...I don't know about them doing that in front of us, but some lighter stuff would be fun to watch. After all, we should give them some privacy. Off-camera and such."

And at that, settled down to watch as Kaito decided it would be a good time to jam his tongue down Shinichi's throat.

* * *

**"Hmm... this is getting a bit heated. Perhaps we should close the curtains?" I said, indicating to the ugly mauve curtains on either side of the glass box.**

* * *

"Sure." I smile and close the curtains. Then I turn around and hold up a DVD. "Are you up for a rerun of Kaito's greatest moments A.K.A the footage I just taped of them in that box?"

* * *

**"Heck yes!" I shout, smiling. I run to the kitchen and grab some more snacks before plopping on to the couch.**

* * *

"Mwahahahahahaha..." I laugh evilly, turning on the TV. I stare intently at the screen. "Wait a second...Is Kaito _winking_ at the camera?"

* * *

**"Umm... I think so." I say hesitantly. "Though, it's Kaito we're talking about. Are you really surprised that he knows about the cameras?"**

* * *

"...No, not really." I decided just to let it slide and enjoy the Kaishin action.

* * *

**Suddenly the TV flickers and goes out. We look around curiously.**

**"Did the power go out?" You wonder aloud. I shake my head and point to the far corner of the room.**

**"No I, uh... I think Kaito escaped!" I said. Kaito was sitting across the room with a smirk that could be deadly to any yaoi fangirls in the vicinity. Especially us.**

**We smile nervously at the man who could very well be the last thing we see.**

* * *

"Ummmmm...Hello, Kaito-sama. First of all, please don't kill us. But you know, you and Shinichi look rather cute together...again, please don't kill us." I say to Kaito then quickly I whisper to Athie. "How are we going to get out of this? Excuses are needed!"

* * *

**"You're a narcissist, right?" I call out. Kaito paused, nodding hesitantly. I continue, trying to be persuasive. "Haven't you always wanted to have a relationship with someone that looks like you?"**

**"Well... I can't say that I haven't considered it..." The great magician admitted.**

**"See? Besides, if you don't kill us we'll let you see the re-runs." I say, waving the DVD enticingly and wait for a reaction.**

**"Well, what are you waiting for? Hit play!" Kaito says, already sitting on the couch between us. I look at Hana-chan and smirk, my hands curling into a victory sign.**

* * *

I let out a sigh of relief at wink at Athie. The video began to play.

"Soooooo Kaito…" I say with a small and slightly devious smile. "Do you think that maybe, just maybe, you might have a crush on Shinichi Kudo?"

He turned to face me, Poker Face slipping a bit.

* * *

**"Well, umm... maybe. You know, just a little one." Kaito stuttered, looking like a lovesick teenager. We both giggle and promise to help him with his little crush.**

**"You know..." Kaito mused absently. "Maybe you fangirls aren't so bad after all."**

* * *

"Of course we aren't. Not the yaoi fangirls anyways... The just Kaito KID fangirls are much scarier. They'll try and ambush you. We won't do that, just help you get together with Shin-chan and treat you like our friend!" I say with a smile. All three of us high-five and start to devise a plot of action.

"How about Athie-chan stays here and plots with Kaito, and I'll find Shin-chan and get him in the right mindset and such?" I suggest.

* * *

**"Hmm... we need to have a sort of plan though." I insist. "Shin-chan is stubborn and he won't easily agree, he only did it last time because Hana-chan put that emotion stuff in there."**

**"Emotion stuff?" Kaito asks, raising an eyebrow. Suddenly his grin turns evil and he looks at Hana-chan. "Can I get a bottle of that stuff, ojou-sama?"**

* * *

"Sure." I say, handing a bottle to Athie. "Give it to him whenever you feel like it, I'm gonna go reason with Shinichi. Be back soon."

* * *

**"Well, I think this time around it might be better without the artificial emotions getting in the way." I say, trying to put the bottle on a high shelf but failing spectacularly due to my short stature. Kaito takes the bottle and puts it on the shelf.**

**"I hope Hana-chan can reason with him." Kaito says, a bit sadly.**

**"Oh don't worry, it'll work out. It always does!" I say brightly. "At least in the doujins it always works out... so this should be no exception."**

* * *

"Hey guys! Great news! Shin-chan admitted, through much persuasion, that he has a small crush on the infamous Kaito KID." I say, popping my head into the plotting scene .

* * *

**"Really?" Kaito exclaims. You nod with a maniacal grin plastered on your face. Kaito jumps up and literally dances for joy. We smile at each other.**

**"Our work here is done." I say turning to leave the room, Hana-chan following behind me.**

**"Wait you guys!" Kaito suddenly shouts. We both turn around curiously just in time to get hugged by the magician.**

**"Thank you Hana-chan. Thank you Athie-chan. You just helped me a lot." Kaito says, smiling.**

**"Trust me, it was our pleasure!" I say now dragging Hana-chan away. The poor girl was still dazed from being in such close contact to Kaito. Once we're out of ear shot I ask her.**

**"So Hana-chan, did you put in the hidden cameras?"**

* * *

"Yep." I say, shaking myself out of the daze to grin at Athie. I pull out a miniaturized TV and fiddle a while with the dials.

* * *

**"I wonder if Kaito knows about these ones too..." I say. But my question is answered as Kaito sticks him tongue out at us. We chuckle and continue watching anyways. After all, why should we let thieves have all the fun?**

* * *

"I think he'll thank us later." I say at the moment, Shin-chan decided to show up. I hesitate before adding. "Or prank us."

* * *

**"Probably prank us..." I say, watching as both teens awkwardly try to avoid the subject that they most wanted to talk about.**

**"I think that they both need a little help." I remark in an offhand manner. I point to the bottle up on the high shelf. "Would you mind getting that? I think they need it and I can't reach..."**

* * *

I grabbed a ladder out of nowhere and stood on it, tossing the bottle down to Athie-chan. "Here you go!"

* * *

**"Hmm... now how do we get it to Kaito without interrupting?" I wondered aloud. "Oh, wait! I've got a great idea, good thing I stole one of Kaito's doves beforehand."**

**I attach the bottle to the dove's foot and send it towards the thief and detective. We both cross our fingers hoping that it will work.**

* * *

Luckily, Kaito saw the bird and managed to divert Shin-chan's attention long enough to detach it and spray a small amount in the room. We settled in and waited for the show that was sure to follow.

* * *

**"Hey, Shin-chan... I've got something that I've been wanting to tell you for a while." Kaito said, fidgeting a little. Shinichi looked at him curiously and waited for the magician to clarify.**

* * *

"Ummm...err...That is to say...ummmm..." Kaito stuttered, Poker Face breaking just enough to show a bit of the vibrant blush that overtook his face.

* * *

**"I like you!"Kaito said, nearly shouting. We both leaned forward, waiting for Shinichi's reaction.**

* * *

Shinichi backpedaled a bit, waving his hands in front of his face in a vain attempt to cover his spreading blush.

"Uh-er-*squeak*" was really all he managed to say. Shinichi's back hit the wall and he straightened, his brain finally done overloading.

He then proceeded to gain a bit of a backbone and began kissing Kaito senseless. And that's how the tables were turned.

I turned and looked worriedly at Athie-chan. "You know, maybe Kaito sprayed a bit _too_ much of that emotion stuff we gave him."

* * *

**"Well, they're enjoying it so who cares?" I say, a smile crossing my face. They were indeed enjoying it, Kaito had his hands tangled in Shinichi's hair, dragging them both closer to each other.**

* * *

"True~" I trilled back. Kaito had decided at that moment though, to stop plundering his dear Shin-chan's mouth and begin nibbling lightly on the alabaster, _extremely _sensitive neck in front of him.

* * *

**Shinichi moaned slightly and moved his hands towards the magician's stomach, trying to gain an advantage.**

**But Kaito wasn't having any of that, he grabbed Shinichi's hands and pushed them high above his head.**

* * *

Shinichi was slightly annoyed at this, so he decided to get revenge by biting Kaito's ear, almost painfully. Kaito yelped in surprise and shock.

* * *

**"Naughty Shin-chan." I mutter, turning off the small TV. You protest a bit about the loss of KaiShin but I hand you a DVD instead.**

**"We never did get to finish watching the re-runs." I remind Hana-chan, dragging her to the couch and pushing the DVD into the normal size TV.**

**And so ends our story... do you want to watch the re-runs with us?**

* * *

**AN:** Well, I'm not sure exactly how we started this... I think it was something about me stealing her honey mustard. And brownie mix.

Anyways, we hope you had just as much fun reading it as we did writing it!

Also, check out Hana-chan's stories! http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/3766698/Cyanide_Flowers


	2. Holy Flipping Conan!

Hana: We don't own Detective Conan or Magic Kaito!

Athie: All rights reserved to Gosho Aoyama-sensei!

* * *

"Holy FLIPPING Conan that's a lot of clams! (Kaito, catch him) Sorry, weird joke there." Hana said.

"Hana-chan, stop harassing my Shin-chan!" Kaito complained catching the young sleuth easily.

"But, Kaito, this gives you a chance to 'bond' with him!" Hana said.

"Good point." Kaito says, hugging Conan tighter. The detective squirmed in an attempt to get out but eventually fails. Resigned, Conan sighed and let himself be held.

Meanwhile, in the background, the yaoi fangirls have hearts in their eyes. "KAWAIIIIIII!" their shouts ring through the air.

Conan looks up. "Did you hear something?"

"Nah, it's just the fangirls." Kaito says, shrugging it off. "I'm already used to it."

"Fangirls?" Conan asks with a laugh. "You have fangirls?"

"Of course I do." Kaito says, pouting a little.

"Well, I have more." Conan says.

"I don't like them." Kaito says, pouting.

Conan blinked innocently "Why?"

"Because they're stealing you from me."

"You're a thief aren't you? Just steal me back." Conan said, blushing and avoiding Kaito's gaze. Kaito's eyes widened and he immediately squealed.

"Oh, Shin-chan you're just too damn cute!"

And then narrowed his eyes.

"I do intend to steal you back." He whispered in Conan's ear, making the smaller one blush immensely. He then dragged his tounge along the exposed, red neck of the child. Conan shivered.

The fangirls squeaked and moved in closer. Trying not to interrupt but still wanting to get a better look.

They failed, however, when one of them stepped on a twig very loudly and broke the sound barrier.

Conan looked up, saw all the girls watching them and blushed profusely. Kaito just laughed and kissed the miniature detective making the fangirls squeal.

Then Conan decided that he most certainly did _not_ like being the uke in this pairing and began to curl his small, though flexible fingers into Kaito's thick unruly hair, pressing their mouths together and slipping his tongue to brush against Kaito's lips...

"Ohmigosh!" The fangirls practically screamed. Some of them fainted from over exposure as Kaito smirked against Conan's lips. The thief forced the child's mouth open to deepen the kiss.

Conan responded enthusiastically, all pretense of childishness shaken off as he threaded his tongue into Kaito's mouth, drawing an involuntary whimper from the currently older of the two.

Conan grinned a bit at the other's response. So being taller wasn't everything in a relationship. He gasped as Kaito pushed his tongue in deeper, instantly losing the upper hand to the magician.

And it was Kaito's turn to grin, somewhat sadistically; at the way that Conan was desperately trying to regain control but failing as he basically melted against the thief.

All of the fangirls were indeed very happy.

Almost absently Conan drew back some curtains, screening the fangirls from view. There were choruses of "Aww! No fair!" as the two teens walked away with smiles on their faces.

* * *

**AN:** Yea, this one was because of her clam joke. I was like "I ate 200 clams once" then this whole conversation started!

This was actually written by both of us but I decided not to put in dividers because the story doesn't really need them...

Heh, hope you enjoyed reading! ^^


	3. Fluffy Failure

Hana: We don't own Detective Conan nor will we ever...

Athie: Unless I became a millionaire. I would so buy Detective Conan.

Hana: Okay so unless Athie becomes a millionaire, we don't own it!

* * *

He poked the detective in the arm, trying to make him yelp, shriek or cause panic in any other way that he could.

It had been way too boring around here lately and Kaito fully intended to change that.

Shinichi squeaked in indignation and surprise. When he saw Kaito's violet-indigo eyes staring intently at him from a few inches away, he squeaked again in embarrassment.

A red flush proceeded to spread from the roots of his hair downward. Idly Kaito wondered 'How far down does it go?' before easily pulling Shinichi's shirt off him.

Shinichi once again squeaked, proving that the vibrant blush stretched at least to his shoulders.

"Oi... Wha-what are you doing Kaito?" Shinichi asked, grabbing at his shirt. Kaito held it far out of his reach and decided to finish what he'd started.

The magician leaned in towards his detective, kissing him on the lips. Shinichi protested, trying to push at Kaito's chest to get him off but soon subsided.

The sound of silence descended over the room as they kissed with more warmth and passion than they thought they ever had for each other.

However, they kept the contact light and soft, not wanting to hurt or startle the other.

They parted,a warm buzz behind their eyes -almost like a drug's effect but more sweet and wholesome-gave them chills down their backs as they gently kissed again.

As they parted again, Kaito gently whispered "So your blush only goes down to your ribcage, huh?" as he leaned against Shinichi, feeling a bit drowsy due to the kisses' effect.

Shinichi relaxed against Kaito as well, laughing under his breath, the vibration thrumming through his lips to the top of Kaito's head and providing a comfortable purr from said ribcage.

"So that's why you did that."

"Mmm-hmm." Shinichi smiled warmly down at Kaito, who tilted his head back for another short, light kiss.

"But I'd still like my shirt back."

Kaito handed back the shirt resignedly and tried to tug it over his lover's head. Shinichi smirked a little and pushed it aside.

"I said that I wanted it back... I didn't say that I wanted to wear it."

Kaito, uncustomary, blushed enough to rival Shinichi's normal blush. But Shinichi just laughed and pulled Kaito's head roughly to bonk against his chest.

"Idiot..." he sighed, laughing contentedly. "I was just messing with you. You're so easily flustered, really."

And he pulled Kaito into another soft kiss.

* * *

**AN:** This started as an innocent little "Make fun of Shinichi" story then turned to seduction then became fluff... sorry it's so short. I can't do fluff.

Hana-chan actually did must of the writing for this one! ^^


End file.
